Posted by: ryanmccoskey | March 30, 2010

welcome to the briefing

I like to talk. I also like to write. The advantage of reading me vs. listening to me is that you get a better filter. For example, I typed several words & deleted them over & over until I decided to write this sentence. In reading me, you can only observe what I carefully write out.

Hatching imaginative fairy tales is really quite easy when writing. No one can see your eyes dart or clearly tell that you are reaching into your psyche for the next few words. It’s a great tool for deception, if misused.

It’s also a great tool for honest storytelling. Since you can only perceive what I let you perceive through my writing, I can limit the distractions. In fact, you can’t see the little yellow stain on my white shirt right now. It doesn’t exist to you; all you have is what I want you to have. But you are now visualizing that yellow stain, aren’t you? You are imagining what caused it or who caused it or where it is on the shirt. If you weren’t imagining those things, you are now, aren’t you? I made you imagine them by writing about it. And because you are reading this you had to follow me. There are no alternate paths; just the one I make with my words.

I say all this because I’d like you to journey with me into the adventure of settling into my first home. For those of you who don’t know, I’m buying a home. Technically, it’s still just a house, but it will be a home someday. That’s why I have renamed my blog “home is where the house is.”

I really don’t know why I’m committing myself to blogging about settling into a new home. I don’t even know if you care. But perhaps I can make you care, just like I made you think about my yellow stain – I got you again! You just can’t help it! I say it & you read it. Instead of figuring out what to say next, you are calmly listening to my thoughts, word for word.

Maybe you already own a home & want to take this journey out of pity for me because you know it’s not easy. Maybe you are the benevolent type & would rather that I learn from your mistakes and do it right the first time. Perhaps you just dig a good story. Then again, you could be someone who doesn’t own a home yet & would like some ideas. No matter your circumstance, there are several great reasons to do this with me.

You can be sure that if you are reading this because I told you to read it in a Facebook note, then you have been formally invited. If, on the other hand, you have stumbled here on your own accord, you have not been formally invited. But consider this sentence your informal invitation (it’s just as good, only without the sequins & embossing).

So, now is the time for action. Have you decided? If so, what are you here for? Are you looking to be a guide for my inexperience or a consumer of my experience? Regardless of your position in this quest, you are a valued member of the party.

However, you must be aware of some possible dangers. If there are no experienced adventurers among us, we may be in for a sad, hard journey. Without the experience of others, I may lead all of us into a cold, empty place. Without the help of those who have journeyed before me, I may do something the wrong way & educate you badly, thus leading you to do it the wrong way. I don’t want this journey to be the Donner Party part II. I’d rather not be forced to eat your dead body for survival, so if you are an experienced adventurer homeowner, don’t stop reading! Please don’t turn back! We are going to need you.

Well, this is it. I have nothing more to say. And that can only mean one thing – the adventure has begun. And by reading this sentence you now commit to this journey. You just passed the point of no return. You’re here, for better or for worse. Making it to the end of a blog post is way more significant than signing your name; it’s definitely more time intensive. Don’t fail me now. No jumping ship. Get in line.

It’s time for role call. Who is with me?!

(No, this is not rhetorical. I literally want you to comment on this post with your name followed by an exclamation point; i.e. “Ryan McCoskey!” Don’t crush my dreams just because you are concerned about your blogosphere self-image. Drop your pride & report for duty).


Responses

  1. Matt Overturf!!

  2. Yes! My first journey partner!

  3. Ashleigh Hildebrand! Yeah…I don’t need no stinkin’ sequins and embossing. 🙂

  4. I really don’t have a choice in the matter. I am literally on the journey with you! Just for the record any bad or incriminating information that Ryan reports about me is completely false! 🙂


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